Ridley Pearson: Hello, my name is Ridley Pearson. Rid-ley Pearson. Not Ripley, as in Ripley's Believe It or Not. Not Wrigley, as in Wrigley's Spearmint Gum. My real first name is Bruce. It doesn't appear on any of my legal documents. But the story is this: When I was born, my parents sent a telegram out to all the family members announcing my birth. My name was Robert Ridley Pearson. My dad was Robert, so they called me Ridley right from the first day. But one of my great uncles, great uncle Bruce, got that telegram, and sent them a telegram back ...

Now this was when Western Union was not doing their job correctly, because he wrote back a telegram saying, "Thank you so much for naming your child after me, it means so much to me." And then he promptly died. By the time my parents got the telegram, Uncle Bruce had died. And they felt since he died thinking someone had been named after him, they would name me after him. And so, tacked on to my birth certificate, was the name Bruce. And I end up with Bruce Robert Ridley Pearson. Which is, of course, burp. So, if you're gonna call me anything, call me Ridley. If you can't think of anything else, just burp and I may come your way. Thank you.