Matthew Dicks: Hi, my name is Matthew Dicks. My mother calls me Matthew. My friends call me Matt. My best friend from childhood calls me Matty. And assorted other people just call me Dude. But they're strange people, and I just allow them to do it because they're my friends. It's an unfortunate name, but one that I've grown to love over the years.

My father's name is Les Dicks, which is a difficult name, as you can imagine. My uncle Harold goes by Harry Dicks, which is also difficult, as you can imagine. So Matthew Dicks seems like a pretty great name to me. My wife's name is Elysha Green, and she wanted to hyphenate her name, but Green-Dicks is also a terrible name. So she is Elysha Dicks. And my children are Charlie and Clara Dicks, and they love their name, too.

My name is not spelled like the fort, D-I-X. It is spelled like the other way that you would spell Dicks, D-I-C-K-S.

I'm also a fifth grade schoolteacher, and so my students call me Mr. Dicks, though in truth, if I could, I would just have my students call me Matt, as well. I kind of think that the Mr. is silly.