Neil Numberman: Hello. My name is Neil Numberman, and there is quite an interesting backstory to how I got my name. My father was an accountant for the king of a small country called Shamtonia a long time ago while my mother was pregnant with me, and every day he'd came into work two desks over from the king's throne, and every day the king would ignore him. He tried again and again to get the king's attention. He juggled. He told me he once lit his calculator on fire. He made weird whooping noises, but the king never paid him any mind until one day, which also happened to be the day of my birth, the king ordered a taco for lunch.

While eating the taco though, he started choking on it. My father rushed over to give him the Heimlich maneuver and saved the king's life. The king rushed out of the royal castle not even thanking my father. Suddenly though, my mother rushed in and announced she was only minutes from delivering me. So, my father put his anger towards the king's indifference aside for a moment to help deliver me. Suddenly, the king returned completely bedecked in all sorts of ceremonious garments. Just as my mom screamed, "It's a boy. What do we name him?" The king, who was staring at my father and not noticing that I was just born, pulled out his sword and said, "Kneel, Numberman."

That's what kings called accountants, and proceeded to knight my father, which is an old Shamtonian tradition where the knighted becomes a hero of the land. My father kneeled down and the king tapped him on both shoulders with his regal sword and proclaimed, "You are hereby a hero in these lands. Let us be friends and compatriots from here to eternity." Meanwhile, my mother stood nearby holding me. "Neil Numberman. I like that," she said, and that's how I got my name. As for the king, we found out years later he wasn't a king after all. He was just some crazy lunatic who found a robe and a crown at a ShopMart and ruled Shamtonia with an iron fist for 30 dreadful long years. Anyway, that's my story. Thanks.